Kitty Tales.

This isn't the first time I've somehow emailed something to myself (which doesn't show up in my unread mail and just disappears into the archive) instead of to the intended recipient, but it's the first time I did it with a sample edit for a potential client - and didn't discover for three weeks that it had happened. **HEADDESK**

Clearly I need a better system. I think of myself as organized but then I discover in odd ways that maybe I'm not. I've tried all the "project management" apps and they all seem too complex for my needs, but a simple to-do list doesn't seem to be doing the trick either.

Suggestions welcome.

I leave you with a completely irrelevant comic. Toodles!

Can I? Should I? Will I? I don't know who started "100 Days of LJ" but there's enough of it on my friends list page to make me feel sheeplike. Baaaa!

The university's fiscal year ends next Tuesday, so I'm right in the middle of my annual nutsy-cuckoo stressmonkey phase. I should be glad that Elance has been slow, and it helps that EK has picked up a couple of contracts, but I owe the IRS from this past tax return, and after that I want to pay off all the credit cards, so less money is never a good thing. However, neither is insufficient sleep, so I have some work to do to magik some more hours into my work-work-sleep schedule, and fit in some downtime too (anyone got a spare time-turner I could borrow?) and I'm not sure where to start with that.

My social life is in the toilet, figuratively speaking. Every once in a while I look around and think, hey - we finally got ourselves a bunch of friends... and then the next time I check, we don't. I think my working so much and not going to Meetups and things as often has a lot to do with it. So does my lack of tolerance for socializing with people I don't really like that much just for the sake of being social - particularly when I'm working a lot of hours. I become protective of my time, and I'd simply rather be alone or alone with EK than "be social". Plus, I just kind of suck at making friends. That used to bother me but I've made peace with it. I like who I like, and it's an elite group, and they don't necessarily like or have time for me, so the funnel narrows and narrows and I'm left with not much. And I'm ok with that.

EK and I launch our first webcomic July 6th. We wanted at least two months stockpiled before we started, but we've delayed once already so this time we're just going to go for it before we're "ready" - because we'll never be ready. It can always be better. We'll keep rewriting and he'll keep redrawing the same strips over and over because he doesn't like the way something came out. Maybe this is supposed to be a lesson in letting go and finding out at what point something is "good enough" to put out in to the world. It's art, not a tax return.

And that's all until tomorrow.

Looks like I just bye'd out of Idol... Oh well, life stuff I had to take care of took precedence. Have fun, y'all!

I just started it, and Klaus' voice is driving me crazy - he sounds like another character from another show. The voice, the accent - something. And it's not Vampire Diaries because I don't watch that. I checked IMDB and didn't recognize anything he's done - although I'm assuming I wouldn't anyway since the accent is fake. Anyone have any ideas??

I'm not a superstitious person, but I do believe there are things in the universe we cannot see - and that many of those things can see us just fine.

A couple of months ago, I bought a house. The previous owners did a lot of work on the place before we moved in, which made it a fantastic deal for a 52-year-old place. The whole kitchen is new - from the laminate floor to the Ikea light fixtures, and all the cabinets and appliances in between. The flooring is all new. The attic has new insulation and the crawlspace has new waterproofing and brand new four-inch pvc pipes. Hell, they even replaced all the doors, even closet doors. Each one leading to outside, and the one between the kitchen and the utility room, has a brand new deadbolt lock and as well as a turn-lock in the knob. They all click firmly when turned: locked, unlocked, locked, unlocked. Click. Click. Click. Click. It's a familiar sound. A comforting sound to those like myself with a bit of a fetish for the orderly, the routine, the predictable.

"Knock-knock.. knock-knock! Knock. Knock-knock-knock..." This sound? Much less comforting, but I'm getting accustomed to it.

The first time I heard it was one of our first nights in the house. We were in the living room, and the sound was on the other side of the wall, coming from the kitchen. "Knock. Knock...knock knock..." Mysterious sounds like that make me anxious, but I'm also on the lazy side, so I raised my head like a dog catching a scent and asked my husband EK what the noise was.

"No idea." He's equally lazy, but much less paranoid.

I keep peeking into the kitchen, but it never happens when I'm looking. EK's convinced it's one of our cats playing with the lower cabinet doors. I'm... not so sure. Seems like we should be able to catch her at it once in a while, or at least see her leaving the kitchen. But hey- EK's often right, and this might be one of those times.

Nock. Nock-ck. Nock-nok. This sound is higher pitched, and I'm about 90% sure it's the icemaker dropping cubes. Except... we never use ice, so the bin is pretty full. And the really weird part? It only happens at night. Is there a timer on my refrigerator's ice machine? Because we can sit in the living room all day long and never hear a single one, but after nine or ten o'clock rolls around? Nock. Nock-nock. Nock-k. It only happens when we're in the living room, too. While we're cooking? Nothing. If I park myself in the kitchen next to the fridge waiting to hear the noise and confirm its origin? Nada. Silence. It's very odd. Just one of those things, though. A quirk. I'll probably even stop noticing after a while.

Knock-knock-knock.... Knock-knock-knock-knock!! That one's less frequent, but the most annoying of the three. It's knuckles on wood, myself or EK trying to get the other's attention to be let in. It's usually the door between the kitchen and utility room, but it happened on the back door once too. I had to leave work one day to let EK back in the house after he locked himself out doing laundry, and we hid a key outside after that - but I'm absolutely sure the door was unlocked when I went out there a few days later, but it was locked when I tried to come back in. Ask anyone who's spent time with me - I'm utterly obsessive about checking doors before I close them behind me, and this one was unlocked. I checked. Then EK got locked out again, and the key wasn't where it should have been. "Knock-knock-knock!" At least I was home this time. And then the back door on Saturday. I've stopped shutting doors all the way behind me if I'm coming right back in. So far so good, but still. It's the idea. An unlocked door should stay that way until someone chooses otherwise - and if course I'd like that someone to be me (or EK.)

We went to the flea market last weekend, and purchased a pretty painted sun face - made of cast iron. We also bought lavender oil, kosher salt, and sticks of dried sage. At the next new moon, a couple of days before Beltain, we'll properly bless the house as we should have done before moving in, and hopefully have the place to ourselves again. (Knock on wood!)

The big glass patio doors in our family room freak me out. I'm not afraid of my new city, but it's not Mayberry either. A deadbolt lock isn't much use if all you have to do is break one little pane of glass, reach in, and unlock it.

"We'll rig up a security system," my husband said. "We'll put some of those perimeter cameras on the trees in the back yard - the kind they use on Destination Truth, that are motion-triggered."

"You realize that will take pictures of their backs?"

"There can be one inside facing them. And a speaker that plays a recording of a giant scary-sounding dog." At this point his imagination was off and running. He did imitations of William Shatner warning intruders to step away from the door. An elaborate system of paintball guns (again, motion-triggered of course!) was designed to cover any would-be burglars in violent splotches of color. Video would be uploaded directly to YouTube so that we, the police, and anyone else who wanted to could get a good look at the suspects.

Moving day came, and with it all the expenses related to a new, bigger home. Projects multiplied. Savings dwindled. A neighbor told us the burglaries should end, because they caught and arrested the team of young men who had been going street to street doing daytime break-ins. The Rube Goldberg Security System, as I'd been calling it, remains unbuilt.

I'm not too worried though. It's just stuff, right? If someone takes it, I'm insured. I'll get new stuff. It's creepy to think of someone in my house, but those are the chances you take living in society. I could choose to live out in the middle of the woods, or in a gated community behind locks and bars and passcodes, but I actually prefer a little uncertainty, a little less tightly held order in my world. You've got to   leave room for a few surprises, because sometimes those are good.

As for someone breaking in at night when we're asleep? We've got that covered. Talk about surprises! I'm pretty sure anybody sneaking into an unassuming brick ranch home in a suburban neighborhood, thinking we're an easy mark, will change his tune on the double when faced with a shrieking, naked 200-pound woman running at him wielding a machete. Surprise!

Sometimes simple does the trick.

I shook my head and wrapped my arms around my knees, bringing the gin and tonic to a resting point an inch from my lips. I took a long sip, sucking the bitter drink through the ice that remained in the bottom of the glass. Andy flopped down on the floor in front of the pile of pick-up sticks and pennies, happy to take another turn in my stead. It was a game of speed and agility, designed in such a way as to make failure inevitable- the only question was how soon. It was a Friday night, our junior year of University, and we'd started on a case of beer that afternoon, followed by Katie's beloved gin, so agility wasn't anyone's strong suit at the moment.

Everyone crowded around Andy to get a good view, giggling and providing "helpful" suggestions. Andy hammed it up, making a face every time he made a mistake, laughing along with the rest of them. I could feel the wheels turning in my head, the whirring hum running a loop, missing data, some essential piece lacking. How could he be having fun? His friends, the people he spent every day with who were supposed to love him, were laughing, mocking him, and he was allowing it. Enjoying it. My face wrinkled up like a pug's and I held my legs tighter, watching. With a final burst of catcalls, Andy's turn ended and he swapped seats with Deena, who cracked her knuckles and rubbed her palms together in anticipation.

James dropped onto the floor beside me and swapped my empty glass for a full one. I thanked him quietly, but he kept watching me instead of the game, a look of puzzlement and concern on his face. I raised my eyebrows.

"You'll do anything to avoid looking foolish."

"And I brush my teeth every day, and put pants on before leaving the house."

He said nothing at first, then nodded toward the glass in my hand. "I've been pouring them heavy tonight. I wanted to see what would happen." With a sigh and a shrug, "I thought maybe... you'd have fun." A long moment of silence roiled between us, punctuated by the giggles and snorts from the game circle. "Let me walk you back to your room." James took my hand and pulled me to my feet, and as I cringed at the sound of our friends howling with laughter at Deena's final miscalculation, we slipped out the door and into the dark.

Greetings fellow travelers! Welcome to my home base for the hair-tearing, heart-pounding, tear-jerking rollercoaster adventure ride with the deceptively innocuous moniker, LJ Idol!

I've played in four seasons of Idol, but written only two intros. The first year I was brought in mid-season, and in Season 8 we leapt right into the first topic (sneaky, twisty Gary!) My first intro looked like this and the second like this... and by now a lot of you know me pretty well! I've written about everything from being fat on (and off) the internet to my first (and only!) experience getting a Brazilian wax. What else can I possibly tell you? That I put too much cream cheese on my bagels and I'd wrestle a mountain lion for a pint of Ben and Jerry's Coffee Coffee Buzz Buzz Buzz? That I can't keep houseplants alive for more than a month? That I can spend an hour or more at the aquarium just going through the "underwater" shark tank again and again? What facts or figures could come close to telling you who I am?

Seriously, I want to know. Ask me. Ask me anything, and I'll answer. Or alternately, if you already know me, what do you think my introduction should be about? How would you describe me??

It's because of the paint fumes.
Plus, so many of my favorite people will be there.
There are only nine weeks before the semester ends.
After that my busy time of year at work starts.
But by then we'll at least be settled into the new house, mostly.
Not to mention I have a terrible case of FoMO (Fear of Missing Out syndrome.)
And I'm far too sleep deprived to make good choices.
How could I say no? I'm in.

I've got a rant brewing. It's a problem without a solution, other than for me to find a way to ignore it, because I long ago lost my taste for trying to change other people - or even just their minds. But it keeps popping up lately and I'm having trouble pretending it doesn't bother me.

Over and over, online and in person, I encounter people saying that because they or their partner is bisexual, "it just makes sense" for them to be polyamorous. Often this is followed by, "and look for another bisexual woman to join us," because of course that's the perfect solution to this sticky problem of one partner being attracted to both genders and the other not. Because being attracted to both men and women is totally different than being attracted to more than one man, or more than one woman - except it totally isn't. As someone who has traveled from one end of the Kinsey scale to the other over the past *mumblebumble* years, I can say with a great deal of confidence that people is people and parts is parts, and I've yet to meet an adult who was with a partner purely (or even mostly) because of the specifics of their anatomy.

Here's the thing: to say "it makes sense" for someone to be poly because they're bi feeds into one of the more destructive stereotypes about bisexuals, which is that they can't be faithful/monogamous because they'll always keep wanting someone of the gender they're not with. Look, I want chocolate cake for breakfast, but I decided that doesn't fit the life I want to live. Choices, people. We all make them every day, and there are plenty of monogamous bisexuals all over the damn place. How is wanting someone of the other gender different from wanting a different person of the same gender? It's not as if sex with every woman is exactly the same (so straight men are never tempted to cheat, right? Why bother, pussy is all the same!) and sex with a man is all the same, but the two are so vastly different from each other that asking someone who craves both to give that up is equivalent to asking them to give up either sight or sound. Newsflash, my friends! Sex with two different women or different men can be as different from each other as between the genders. It's all different. Every single relationship with every single person you'll ever meet will be unique!

It's a bullshit excuse. If you want to be poly, be poly. You want to swing, or have an open relationship, or a gender-monogamous DADT? Go for it. You're a grownup, and you get to choose. (Although if you choose a One Penis Policy arrangement I will alternately mock you and worry if I should stage an intervention.) But when you say "it makes sense" for you to be poly because of one partner's bisexuality, what are you saying about the rest of us? That it doesn't make sense? That we're just slutty (but that's ok!)? That we're allowed to make that choice- you're not judging! - but we don't really need to have more than one relationship the way you do?

I guess all I'm really saying is, own your choices. If you're emotionally healthy and secure enough to be choosing some kind of ethical nonmonogamy in the first place, you shouldn't need to rationalize, justify, or or excuse that decision.

/rant

Some of you know that my husband and I used to own a gaming store, and/or that he's an illustrator and graphic artist. We combined these two things into a potential new business, and our Kickstarter launched this morning. If you're a tabletop RPG gamer (or know some) I hope you'll check it out and help us pass the word around. I'm really excited about these maps and want this project to do well so we can get to working on the next one!

Anyone here know much about Kickstarter? I'm trying to interpret this item on their guidelines' "not allowed" list:

Kickstarter cannot be used to fund e-commerce, business, and social networking websites or apps.

Does this mean that if we plan to sell the product online it's not eligible for Kickstarter? That seems a little weird. Are they saying you can't use Kickstarter money to pay for a website? I'm very confused.

Yes, we might have a project in the works... actually there definitely *is* a project, the question is whether to go the traditional route we've been planning on or try Kickstarting it... Decisions!!

Any related information or advice is welcome!

Ok, lyrics often make no sense, and I've heard this song a million times and never really noticed this before...

I was on a long drive today and singing along to a Glee soundtrack (stfu, don't judge me) and there's a song that Blaine Warbler and his adorable backup boys sang a few seasons ago, that "Hey Soul Sister" thing? Know it? It's catchy and bouncy and cute, and I never reallly listened to the words at the beginning before.

Your lipstick stains
On the front lobe of my Left-side brains
I knew I wouldn't forget you
And so I went and let you Blow my mind

So... let me get this straight: She "blew his mind" and got lipstick on his brain???

Is it just me or does it seem a little inappropriate for cherubic little Blaine and the Warblers to be singing about that a prime time teen show? (I'm only half kidding about this...)

Actually all kinds of stores can be dangerous, but we went to the local antique mall today. I've lived here for almost twenty years and never been there! It's... wild. Just wild. The craziest stuff. And we shouldn't have been there at all except it felt like a safe window-shopping trip, because we wouldn't see anything that couldn't wait until we get the house next year, but it's fun to look and get ideas. And then we saw him. 

"Him" is a three-foot solid mahogany Happy Buddha. He's just freaking gorgeous and I can't look at him without picking up the bubbly bouncy happy happy joy joy that's written all over his face and pose. 

The price tag said $450, which on the one hand seemed way out of line- not because he's not worth it, but just because EK just lost his job and we should be very frugal until we've got two incomes again. We're grownups, of course we'll do the responsible practical thing, right? WRONG! As I recall, we spent $200 on an exercise bike very shortly after we both lost our jobs a little over a year ago. *snort* Responsible grownups, my ass!

The owner came over to chat and asked if we'd seen anything we liked, and surprisingly he offered to knock a hundred dollars off right away when we told him we liked that one "but... really can't." On the other hand, he also felt it necessary to tell us how he'd been holding out for the full price even when "this asian guy tried to jew me down." I kept a straight face and decided getting the deal was more important than lecturing an old southern dude on the un-PC-ness of the phrase. He said it a bunch more times, and every time I sort of mentally banged my head against a wall. Yes, I really do live in the south.This is my home. I deal.

Anyway, long story a little shorter, [Meet my new friend!]

I lost the emerald out of my anniversary ring.



A metaphor for my day?

Long story short: I'm looking for resume-writing work. I'd be more than happy to do any kind of editing, actually - just ask!

Long story long: I'm buying a house, and I'm half-terrified we're going to find the right place before we save up enough cash for closing costs. I'm working a second job, but it's starting to look as if I won't be getting as many hours as I had in my imaginary budget, so I need to use those extra hours to make money another way. One thing I'm really, really good at is writing resumes and cover letters. When I was laid off from my job in fall of 2011, one of the "benefits" was a Career Transition package with Lee Hecht Harrison. I never used most of the services they provided, because I had a new job in less than three months - but I went to a six-session class about how to get a new job which included very detailed step-by-step training on writing resumes that work (also cover letters, how to locate positions, and interview advice - but most of our time was spent on resumes. Six weeks after the class ended I had a new job, which I can't completely credit to the resume but I'm sure it didn't hurt. I "fixed" my husband's resume, and the job he's in now he was hired for pretty much before he got to the interview.

Depending on how much work it needs, the cost will probably run somewhere between $50-$100 and includes a cover letter template you can plug relevant details into for each job you apply for. Yes I know that's not a small amount of money when you're out of work, and yes I need some of that up front. No, I can't guarantee you'll get a job - but I honestly believe you'll have a much, much better chance with one of my resumes than one you wrote if you are someone who isn't comfortable writing resumes and hasn't done extensive research on what hiring managers and HR departments are looking for.

You can email me at tigrkittn squiggly a thing gmail dot com - thanks in advance!

Listening to NPR on the way to work just now, an interview with Amy Sherman-Palladino came on - this would be exciting anyway because she wrote Gilmore Girls which I love - but they'd edited it down to a discussion of what she listens to while writing, because clearly they thought it was weird. And maybe it is, but it's also SO FUCKING VALIDATING FOR ME BECAUSE, HELLO? GILMORE GIRLS!? Ms. S-P writes with the television on. And not just any television- no, she has magic tv shows and movies that provide just the right familiar "beat" to provide background for her brain to do what it needs to do to write the fast, quippy stuff she writes. Her preferred background track is old Woody Allen movies, and season one of Hill Street Blues, and something else I can't remember, but OH MY GOD YOU GUYS this makes me feel so much less trashy and crazy for playing DVDs** instead of music when I'm working on something. 

::does a happy happy chair dance, all motivated and stuff::


**West Wing, Veronica Mars, and Buffy in particular- but still experimenting.

We're having a lovely holiday here and hope you all are too!

Presents abound! I knew I was getting a sewing machine from my mom, and and she gave EK a set of stainless steel pots and pans that will hopefully be the last ones we ever need, which he's absolutely drooling over, and we bought each other a few little things (ok, not all so little - EK gave me season 1 of American Horror Story!) My aunt and uncle sent me the West Wing complete series box set, which was a complete stunner - I had it on my Amazon wishlist but never imagined I'd ever get it - and EK got a Keurig. A cute little Keurig coffee maker that costs more than twice as much to run as my plain old drip style pot, since the fancy little cups are freaking expensive. EK, who doesn't drink coffee. I have no idea why he asked for this but now I've got a logistics issue.

It's ridiculous to have two coffee makers on the counter, especially with our very limited space (but really, it's silly no matter what.) I drink coffee every day, he does not. The Keurig is too short to use with the travel mug I take to work, and I'd need to run it twice to fill the mug anyway. We could:

1. prop up the keurig on top of something to make it tall enough to sit the travel mug under, and then run it twice
2. run it twice and pour the coffee from a regular mug into the travel mu
3. keep two coffee makers on the counter
4. buy a little four-cup coffee maker for me to keep at work, and pack away the big one I use now, and make my coffee at work. The main downside to this is keeping a container of half-and-half in the work fridge, and running it back and forth to my office when I need it. I don't like nondairy creamer. Or I could learn to like my coffee black. The second downside, of course, is spending money on something I already own. (The regular size coffee maker is too big to keep at work, I think)
5. Other solution?? Suggestions welcome!

My mom cracks me up sometimes. She just sent me this IM: 

Will mail your bday card today, so you can spend the money on Thursday, in case the world ends on Friday.  If it does, bye.  Love ya.

(ElJay, I'm starting to get irritated. What's with the new Journal Entry page?? Are you just changing things for the hell of it, or is this supposed to be an improvement in some way?)

dizzydog just left**. It's been a really, really lovely and relaxing weekend, and I'm probably not going to do much for the rest of today. The house was fully cleaned last week, all my laundry is done (except what I wore over the weekend), and there's leftover pizza, chinese food, and drinks in the fridge. Other than some knitting (anyone know of a hat style that looks good on a big round head? The watchcap I made EK last year looks really silly) and watching The Amazing Race later, I can't think of anything I need to do.

Might take a nap. Feeling pretty dozy, though that could be because EK changed the channel to watch skiing, which I find boring as hell. (Time lapse to him taking a nap and me changing to my DVR'd Grey's Anatomy.)

So, I have this minor quandary. I volunteered for a research study about meditation, because in addition to monetary compensation we were going to get to take a 6-week class in meditation, which sounded really cool. It's something I've always wanted to do but on my own I seem to have trouble controlling my thoughts. If we got put in the control group we were supposed to get a certificate for admission to a later class, after the study group participated and the three-month study was over. Now that the three months is up, I got an email saying the control group's class has been scheduled for Thursday evenings starting at the end of January - which I can't attend, because that's when I'm taking the first class at Wake Tech for my database programming certificate. My Thursdays are booked, period. I emailed asking if other arrangements could be made, but haven't received an answer. I'm grumpy about this. The class and the guided-meditation CDs that go with it, custom-made for their class (not something I could just go out and buy) are a major reason I decided to do this. So now I have to decide, do I continue? I've got two lab sessions left, if I do -- for each I have to (sorry, icky TMI) collect a 24-hour urine sample (which is as unpleasant as it sounds) and then do an hour of stuff in their lab like get my blood taken and count backward by sevens for five minutes and use this hand-strength measurement thing. It's all sort of annoying - but I get $35 for my trouble. I did one of those three months ago, then did an online survey every day for 12 weeks, now another lab this week, then nothing for the next 12 months, then another lab. If I do all the labs and the surveys (one lab and three months of surveys already completed) I get a $100 bonus. If I quit now, I got paid for the first lab and the surveys were all for nothing -  in addition to not getting the meditation class I wanted. I don't know, anyone have any wise words for me on this?? $35 doesn't feel like a lot for the labs, and a year is a long time to wait for $100, but is it worth throwing away the time I've put into it??

Now that NaNo is over, gone, ded, I'm taking that project and ripping it into chunks and putting it back together inside out. It needs a lot more bits and pieces to fill in the gaps, so I've got a lot of work to do. Thinking about some short-story projects too - because I'm going to have so much time on my hands between working full time, working part time, and taking a five-hour class one night a week. Good thing I'm a hermit with no social life.

Time for eggnog and cookies. TTFN!




** Or, he had when I started writing this. I keep getting distracted and wandering off in other directions without finishing this.